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Dumb
Laws -
Massachusetts
• A woman can
not be on top in sexual activities.
• Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
• Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special
license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special
license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
• Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front
of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the
city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case
of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public
gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts
in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the
death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is
present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the
common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any
citizen to own more than three dogs.
• Bullets may not be used as currency.
• Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
• Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw
orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling,
soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
• Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
• Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
• Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
• Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen
from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main
Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the
historical society.
• Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are
prohibited.
• Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
• In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
• In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to
do so by a physician.
• In Salem, Massachusetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is
forbidden, even for married couples.
• It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
• It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
• It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
• It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
• It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a
$200 fine
• It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the
construction of a building.
• It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a
public road.
• It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a
city unless there are 2 exits.
• It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to
sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town
green.
• Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string
is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the
city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
• Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in
Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within
10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
• Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
• Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
• North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
• Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
• Public boxing matches are outlawed.
• Quakers and witches are banned.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely
locked.
• Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers
after 8 p.m. in the streets.
• Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
• Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their
taxi during their shifts.
• There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs
tied during the month of April.
• Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
• Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have
a 25' satellite dish.
• You may not curse inside the city limits.
• You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbor.
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