1. Your house plants are alive,
and you can't smoke any of them.2.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go
to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of
"hook up" and "breakup."
8. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as
"dressed up."
9. You're the one calling the police because
those "%&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo".
10. Older relatives feel comfortable telling
sex jokes around you.
11. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes
anymore.
12. Your car insurance goes down and your car
payments go up.
13. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonald's leftovers.
14. Sleeping on the couch makes your back
hurt.
15. You take naps from noon to 6 PM
16.Dinner and a movie is the whole date
instead of the beginning of one.
17. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM
would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
18. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store
for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer
"pretty good stuff."
20. You actually eat breakfast food at
breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to"
replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
22. 90% of the time you spend in front of a
computer is for real work.
23. You drink at home to save money before
going to a bar.
24. You read this entire list looking
desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one
to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of
old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the
same.