A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign
in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings
the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador
retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
Yes, I do," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I
could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help
the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in
no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting
in rooms with spies and world leaders,
because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I
was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I
knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to
settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do
some undercover security wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded
a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of
puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner
what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are
you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."